Anger Work

In times past, the idea of ‘anger work’ would not have made much sense—either because people were so repressed that it would have seemed too radical, or because people were more natural and there was simply not the need for it. But we live in a very unique and complex time. Most people living in the post-modern Western world are stressed and exposed to a great deal of sensory and information input. Accordingly there can be a tendency to be less skilful when dealing with feelings and emotions and in particular with anger.

Anger work is generally one of the more challenging methods to undertake, although in principle it is both simple and usually effective. Many people grow up within rigid social and behavioural protocols, and even when that is not the case, anger is usually the most difficult of emotions to embrace and consciously express. There are of course many reasons for that, but as a rule of thumb, the greater the fear of facing consequences for expressing one’s anger, the greater the life-long tendency will be to repress it. When anger is repressed, it tends to seek outlets via other channels, which leads to such things as passive aggression, indirect hostility, and probably various psychosomatic physical ailments. These manifestations of behaviour (or health issues) are antithetical to living a conscious life. Open expression of anger is not usually the solution either. Accordingly, there is often a need to do some sort of inner work in order to address one’s anger and prevent it from ‘backing up’ and festering into resentment. The following is a simple release method that if done semi-regularly, or as the need arises, helps to reduce the inner pressure and prevent it from building to the point that it begins to actively interfere with the matters of one’s daily life.

Make sure you have at least fifteen minutes in which you will not be disturbed. (More time is better, but in the beginning, fifteen minutes is good. With some practice, you can do this technique in five minutes). Find something that you can strike without damaging anything—this could be your bed, or a couch, mattress, punching bag, etc. Then, using your fists, give yourself permission to pound this object for at least ten minutes. If you can, try yelling into a pillow for a minute or so (making sure to muffle your sounds if in earshot to anyone else). Also very good is lying on your back on a mattress and kicking your legs scissors style, while pounding your fists at the same time. Using a stick or tennis racket, etc., is also effective, but again, be cautious not to damage anything or hurt yourself.

An alternate form of this, for those lacking privacy, is to shout in your car with the windows rolled up (cars are usually good sound insulators. However, make sure the car is stationary and you are not engaged in driving). At first, it is common to feel silly or uncomfortable doing this, but that is only related to old conditioning around feeling shameful for expressing our more passionate energies, which certainly include anger. After a few times you will feel more at ease doing it. (It is not good for young children or pets to hear you doing anger work, as they will not understand and assume that you are distressed and it will frighten them).

Do anger release for at least five to ten minutes. Then lie down and rest quietly and gently for another five minutes. The release of anger can precipitate tender, vulnerable feelings, and often a sense of peace. The rest phase is not just for resting, however, it is for gaining insight into the causes of your anger.

The old truism is ‘You are never upset for the reason you think’. Anger is almost always a smokescreen or a defence for more vulnerable feelings such as hurt and especially fear. But the insight to look into the causes of the vulnerable feelings, to be mindful of them and above all to take responsibility for them, is difficult to come by if we are carrying too much anger, which is why we do the release work. However it should be stressed that while release work is usually beneficial, in and of itself it is not enough to correct the beliefs — systems inside that are contributing to the unhappy situation. That is finally accomplished by insight, understanding, releasing attachment to the need to be ‘right’ about things, and altering certain behavior habits. The release work aids in lowering the voltage locked into our body-mind, so that we can begin to see the patterns causing the problems more clearly. Initially, it is recommended to try this method for a week straight at least. Use anger work if you find yourself feeling especially stressed out, frustrated, disappointed, depressed, misunderstood, etc. In time, this practice can help you feel lighter, more authentic, more empowered, and less reactive to other people.

You can also do the method with another person—both of you shouting into a pillow while retaining eye contact. This usually ends in laughter, which is a sure sign that the feelings have been successfully integrated. To integrate a mental state is to successfully ‘absorb’ it, meaning, you can now move on to other matters without suffering the energy drain that comes from ‘unfinished business’.